The new official tourism slogan of Seattle is “Metronatural“.

No, I’m not kidding. Even jokingly, I don’t think I could come up with something this lame. Apparently, if I could, I would be $200,000 richer. This is the product of too many years of encouraging people to think outside the box. Furthermore, embracing something simply because it is innovative, irrespective of whether it is actually good. Someone needs to put whoever came up with this back into the box, and tape it shut.

Here are my free suggestions, all of which are measurably better than “Metronatural”.

“Seattle: Come fall in love“
“Seattle: My mom likes it“
“Seattle: I live here voluntarily“
“Seattle: Experience multiple shades of green” (This could do double duty for tourism and the chamber of commerce)
“Seattle: Yeah, it’s just like this for 6 months out of the year“

And now some of the niche slogans:
“Seattle: Liberal heaven“
“Seattle: Jesus who?”
“Seattle: Free Wi-Fi!“
“Seattle: Not as hot as Texas“
“Seattle: Well-off hipster-geeks” [link]